Recently I did something I resisted for a long time. I joined Facebook … but with reservations.

I understand the appeal — catch up with long lost friends, bring everyone up to speed on your life all when you have free time, share photographs in one convenient place, business networking, exposure to a cause, along with many others.

It’s not that I have anything against social networking, but I’m just one of these people that would rather have a more personable one-on-one conversation or a more involved face-to-face discussion with people. Time also plays a huge part in my qualms about joining. There are only 24 hours in a day and I can’t do everything. I know firsthand how things can suck you in and before you know it, your intended goals fall off your radar and you are spending time doing something else.

One example began about three years ago. I joined an online writing website with the goal to get feedback on my writing. I got my free membership and posted some of my work. Before long, I upgraded my membership to maintain an ongoing journal book that others could read and comment on as well. I met other writers and my circle of writer friends got larger.

Before long, I spent much time each day reading and commenting about their daily happenings and writing daily entries about mine. I couldn’t wait to log on to see my comments from my cyber friends and soon, there was little or no time left for me to do any actual writing. That venue became my distraction, not an added benefit to my goal. After about a year, I decided I needed to quit my membership to focus once again on my writing.

Society offers many distractions to lure us from our goals. Some distractions are good at the right times and in the right dosage. Other distractions can threaten to derail us if left unchecked.

Plugged In Online (an entertainment resource put out by Focus on the Family) sends out regular emails. Yesterday’s email boasted a headline, “Facebook: A Turbulent Romance in Four Acts.” Intrigued due to my own thoughts and feelings on the social networking subject, I read the article. It was humorous but truthful. It gave great food for thought.

As parents, are we teaching our children conflict resolution in real life? Do our children know how to manage their real-life friendships without a click of a button? Is more time spent with a laptop, than face-to-face interactions?

I’m not saying we all need to deactivate our social networking memberships, but one thing is certain — time is valuable. Once it’s used, it’s gone. But how we use our time, lingers for a lifetime.

We returned from a wonderful family vacation last week. Always after a vacation, there seems to be a few days needed to catch our breath before we get back into a routine.

As I’ve thought about our summer routine, I am reminded it always looks a little different than I anticipate. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it just reminds me of the need to be flexible as a parent.

Floor sweeping may wait an extra day, as the child’s bedroom organization took longer than anticipated. Laundry may still lay folded in the living room as the family discussion proved far more important. Time for self may temporarily be interrupted in order to listen to our child’s creative writing story. Coveted sleep may be ripped away when our child experiences ear pain during the night.

Flexibility and routine can contradict themselves. I’ve swung both ends of the pendulum. I’ve scheduled every day of our summer to only be left frustrated that items were taken longer than the schedule allowed. I’ve also swung the other direction in scheduling nothing and leaving it all to chance, but spent each day irritated that I accomplished nothing on the list.

Now, I’ve moved towards a more flexible routine … is that an oxymoron?  I know what I’d like to accomplish each day, what we need to complete, and what would be fun to do. Then I surrender it all to God and go forward one hour at a time. By midday, I assess how it’s going (when I remember to) and we make changes (if possible).

This causes far less stress for everyone in the house. My kitchen may still be a mess when I go to sleep one night, but I can rest confidently knowing that the things that took precedence over the dishes were more important for that day. Dishes will still be there in the morning.

Remember the flexible metal slinky we played with as a kid? When I didn’t take time to place it straight or if the first drop was too steep, it hit the walls and careened down the staircase out of control. But, if I placed it straight ahead on the stair making sure the staircase wasn’t too steep, it bent and slinked from step to step in a fluid motion. Perhaps that’s a picture of a flexible routine.

We can point our day in the direction we need to go while taking a peek at the terrain in front of us for potential pitfalls. Then we let go and allow God to work in us to accomplish what HE desires for us to do that day.

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.

– Tom Robbins

The mad dash begins with only four days left of school. I dropped off the massive science project this morning at school as it was too large for my daughter to carry along with her backpack and instrument.

“What did you do — kill a bird?” the teacher says to me upon my arrival.

I’m not sure if that was a compliment of my daughter’s life-like duck in her freshwater ecosystem, or a crack at the size of the bird sitting in its habitat. Regardless, it’s an item checked off my list.

Next … laundry. I’m grateful for the light breeze this morning as I placed the drying rack in front of the sliding glass door to speed up the air drying process. Jeans are next to hang. I’m anxious to get “laundry” checked off my list as well.

After that? My list is lengthy, so I have an assortment to choose from. As I folded clothes this morning, I slowed down and reminded myself, Life as I know it, will NOT end in four days. It will just look different — it’s just summer.

It’s just summer … how can six little letters cause parents to scurry? Somehow, they do. It’s like a subconscious need to accomplish everything before school is out. After that, the routine is out the window.

Recently when my daughter and I wrote our lists of what we’d like to do this summer, I stressed the need for balance as she wrote her list. We then read our lists to each other.

“How many of your items can be done while I work and write?” I asked.

She paused briefly and said, “Just a couple, Mom.”

At this point, I could get flustered and worry about how I’ll accomplish everything, but I’ve gone down that road too many times before and I know it leads no where. It reminded me of my prayer displayed on my desk,

“Guide me Lord to do what you desire me to do this day! May it not be just a list of things to accomplish, but a day to fulfill your plans.”

I’ve learned I can’t look at the entire summer in one glance, as that causes my breakers to short circuit. Instead, I have to take one bite at a time. God knows what He desires for me to accomplish as a parent, employee, and writer, so I just entrust it into His hands. He can carry a much heavier load than I can.

So, on that note, here are a few more ideas for thriving this summer with your children:

1. Garage Sales. On Friday mornings, we like to hit the garage sales in our area. It’s fun to start out with just a few dollars and see how far your money can spread. Years back, my very first writing area came from garage sale finds. For under $10, I bought a shelf, decor, and glider chair!

2. Outings. Library, park, grocery shopping — whatever it is, make it fun and engage the kids. Give young children their own list of items to find in the grocery store. Allow the older kids to read in the teen section of your local library (an area no adults are allowed) and give them their wanted independence. Look for nature at a park or on a hiking trail.

3. Spontaneous Mini-Trip to …?. Take a picnic lunch and hop in the car to drive somewhere unknown. Here’s how it works. Make it a group effort and take turns saying which direction you should drive and for how long. For example, “Let’s go straight for 5 minutes, then left for 3 minutes.” Set a time limit. Then wherever you end up, hop out of the car, and have your picnic lunch.

4. Play office. If you need to get some work done and have younger children, give them their own “office setup” and allow them to play next to you while you work. When my daughter was young, she loved this! She had an envelope of stickers, scratch paper, old file folders, and the use of tape. She made files, organized papers, and wrote “important” (but illegible) things. She loved showing me her efforts.

Remember you are not alone — as parents, we are in this together!

School’s nearly out! How did this happen? I blinked, walked the dog, or something — but suddenly the school year is less than 2 weeks away from being over in our area.

My daughter is thrilled for school to be over, and while I always look forward to summer too, I also know it requires a bit of creativity on my part to make our summer fun and memorable, while still maintaining my writing, work, and household duties.

So to get into the spirit of summer — here are a few ideas to jump start your creative juices. Plan ways to not just survive this summer, but thrive and have fun doing it!

1.  Theme Days. Discuss with your children what themes you could come up for different days. By getting your children involved with you, they take ownership as well and you know they will be excited when that day comes.

2. Water, Water, Water. What child doesn’t like water? Whether it’s buying a small sprinkler head to put on a hose, or a mini wading pool they can play with the dog in, or a water balloon game — kids and water mean great fun. Get your cameras out and ready!

3. Gardening. Take your children to a nursery and pick out a flower, herb, or vegetable to plant at home. If you have no space to plant it, plant it in a pot and move it to the area you’d like. Kids enjoy getting dirty, plus they will take pride in seeing their plants grow.

4. Crafts. The internet is full of inexpensive craft ideas. Many items require little or no purchasing of supplies. Just type in “Summer crafts” or something of the sort in Google and get ready to jot down your favorite ideas. Then start creating!

5. Learn. For older children, let them choose a topic of interest, and allow them to research everything about that topic online. Then, set aside a time for them to share their knowledge with you. They love to see they know something you may not know, plus it encourages them to grow in their own learning.

6. Exercise. Children are like puppies in that if they are cooped up for too long, they start to go stir crazy. So whether it is an early morning nature walk, or afternoon bike ride to a park, get outdoors and let them burn off some of their excess energy!

Tune in next week for more ideas and summer fun. Happy planning!

A close friendship is a treasure. When life gets rough, a true friend is there to give support and encouragement. When we just need to vent, a true friend listens to us ramble. When we have food in our teeth, a true friend lets us know.

Such a close friendship is hard to find. I grew up moving around about every two to three years. I didn’t cultivate deep friendships to lessen the heartache when we moved next. But when I met Sue in my freshman year of college, everything changed. We never lost touch and we continued to grow closer even though physical distance separated us. That was twenty-three years ago.

When I have something weighing heavy on my heart, I can tell Sue and know that she will be praying for me. When she asks how I’m doing, I know she genuinely wants to know the answer … and waits to hear it. When I need a good laugh, being around Sue is a sure-way to get my laughter fill. And when I need to see the bright side of a difficult situation, she offers great truthful insight. Her friendship is priceless to me.

Difficulty abounds in our world today — the struggling economy, uncertainty surrounding so many, marital difficulties, and the threat of job loss. Daily, sadness and fear are flourishing. Too often in the midst of such challenges, we choose isolation instead of friendship.

It reminds me of what I cling to and what my necessary anchors are. I think of what truly matters.

My relationship with God is my ultimate form of peace, security, and guidance. The love and support I receive through my relationship with my husband and daughter blesses me daily. And my friendship with Sue reminds me that a true friendship goes deeper than a situation, miles, or even a season of life. Each looks differently, but all serve a very important purpose.

Take time today to remember what truly matters.

Friendship isn’t a big thing — it’s a million little things.  ~Author Unknown