As the holidays approach, stress usually brews. The endless parties to attend, the school programs and concerts, presents to buy and wrap, dwindling checkbook register figures, traffic, baking, and figuring out family plans. The missing ingredient is often the joy of Christmas.

What comes to mind is the drama I wrote a few years back about the dysfunctional Funk family trying to get through the holidays. The eldest daughter named Joy, was anything but joyful yet she tried to make everything perfect to ensure there would be joy … but everything fell apart. Isn’t that how we operate sometimes? We strive to have things in order or find a resolution to a problem to ensure we will have peace, joy, and happiness. Yet we’re losing the battle. If only life was so cut, dry, and simple.

I find that this journey in life isn’t about resolutions to problems, but in finding the joy, peace, and happiness in our lives that God offers regardless of our situation. That is far easier said than done, because life gets messy sometimes.

So how do we find the joy this holiday season regardless of our circumstances?

1. Keep Perspective: Pick up God’s point of view rather than our own. That requires we first step back from the emotions of a situation and allow ourselves to view it from a wider angle. Then we can look to see what God wants us to learn.
2. Keep Breathing: We may have overscheduled ourselves and it can’t be changed now, but we can make a conscious choice to take a few minutes out for ourselves to breathe and relax. It helps us to do #1 above. Take a longer shower in the morning and just relax in those extra minutes or unwind from your day by reading before you go to bed. Understand we need to chill out each day before we can tackle the next day with calm and perspective.
3. Remember the Reason: Remember what Christmas is about. It’s not about presents, parties, programs, full schedules, finances, or even family gatherings. Christmas is about remembering the greatest gift of all – Jesus Christ! It’s the time we celebrate His birth knowing He came to earth to live and die just so we could have life everlasting with Him. What a gift!

So go ahead and receive the joy, peace, and happiness that comes from this greatest gift of Jesus Christ. It’s not dependent on your circumstances and isn’t something you have to add to your bursting schedule. Celebrate the JOY this Christmas.

One of my favorite things to do with my daughter each Christmas is to make our annual Christmas ornaments. We give the extras away as gifts and keep a few for ourselves. It’s a great inexpensive memory maker and gift idea!

I started this tradition when she was 21 months old and I love putting the ornaments on the tree that we made each year. They vary in difficulty depending on her age, of course, but each is labeled with the year it was made. Some are holding up good and others need a few touch up repairs before they are put on the tree, but all have great memories imprinted with them.

Now that she’s a teen, it’s much easier to decide what ornament we’ll make. I select a few of my favorite options, show them to her, and she quickly vetoes all but one. Decision made!

Even though this time of year lends itself to full schedules and bursting to do lists, take time to make a few memories with your children. Click here for a few homemade ornaments ideas.

Have fun and let me know what you make!

It’s the beginning of December and the countdown begins. Not the countdown to opening presents, or the company Christmas party, or even the end to relentless traffic. For me, it’s the countdown until Christmas break begins!

We are in our second year of homeschooling and as my daughter’s school teacher, I have a new appreciation for Christmas break. I can’t wait for its arrival. Now don’t get me wrong, I love teaching my daughter and am grateful for the opportunity to be so involved in her education. But all wonderful things could use some down time,  right? This teacher is ready … so let the counting begin!

Christmas break is like a mini vacation, but at home with no airport travel or lost luggage. It’s a pause in the routine and uninterrupted time to just be and do what we desire. I will greet it with excitement, crank up the Christmas music, and break out in a dance.

That’s how I feel now about Christmas break, but there was a time it wasn’t so thrilling for me. I worked outside of the home, my daughter was in school and a 2-week school break meant a lot of stress trying to juggle schedules to have one of us home with her, taking her to the office, bringing work home, or using the last of vacation time to just stay home for a few days. I greeted Christmas breaks with a resounding Ugh!

If that is where you find yourself, here are a couple tips to help:

1. Plan a couple special events over the break. It will make the time you do have together special. It doesn’t have to cost anything and can be simple like a sledding day or making Christmas goodies together.
2. Remember that the difficulties of today shall pass. Don’t allow your stress to overflow to your children. Let them know they are a precious gift—no matter if you have lots or little time together.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.  ~Charles R. Swindoll

One of the things I enjoy most about being a mom is looking for the gold nuggets in my daughter that stand out with rich value.

I had one of those moments last week while grading her writing piece for English. As I read, a theme emerged that showcased a passion in her that has gone unnoticed. It shimmered brightly in her writing. I pointed it out and we connected the dots with her interests and passions. She beamed thinking about a career path she hadn’t given much thought to, but as she spoke of it, she too could feel the passion grow.

It’s my job as a mom to help my daughter achieve all God has designed and instilled in her, not for her to live out what I plan or think. It thrills me to pieces to be a part of this journey of discovery for her!!

Mom the Encourager. [Cue theme music.] A big red cape effortlessly blows behind. Hands rest on hips. Boots wade through messes. A smile, happy children, and a sunny outlook abound. Picture perfect.

Not always. Ever had one of those days where the cape flaps in your face, your arms flair in the air, your boots have a leak, your face is red from counting to ten so many times (to help yourself), your children have been crying and it’s raining outside? Yep. I think every mom has … and those of us with strong willed children may experience those days more often than others. It’s those sorts of days that the furthest thing from our mind is how we can be encouraging, yet it’s the type of days that demand the most self-control of what comes out of our mouth.

Words … they have such power and can do plenty. Teach. Splinter. Love. Hurt. Strengthen. Demean. Joke. Enhance. Direct. Encourage. With just a couple words, we can change the feel of a conversation, crush someone’s spirit, or make someone’s day.

So what can we do when we have a cape-flapping day? Here are some tips:

1. Recognize when you’re about to short circuit and excuse yourself to regroup for a few minutes. It’s okay to step back from the situation and breathe. It models to our children that we know our limits and act … not react.
2. Leave the heavy sighing and eye rolling for when you are alone and taking your breather. Yes … we can all be guilty of those reactions or is that just me? Breathe and say a quick prayer for wisdom – it’s far more effective.
3. Listen for and address the deeper issue first. Often emotion-filled days are spent on dealing with surface issues rather than the deeper problem going on. Take time to assess the situation, the feelings your child may be struggling with, or undercurrents taking place.

By doing these things, we will help ourselves speak words of encouragement and instruction to our children rather than let loose splinters that just inflict pain and fester. Speak love, support, and affirmation. Words impact.