My husband and I had a wild idea some time back that we could make our daughter a platform bed and headboard. “How hard can it be?” we said. From sample pictures found online, we drew rough plans, took measurements, bought supplies, and began.

Well, actually here’s where it gets fuzzy. Beginning for me and my husband are two different things. I take off immediately. I may not know how all the pieces fit together, but I know the measurements and I’ll get there … eventually … maybe after a few mishaps, reattaching, or ripping out of boards along the way. My husband takes off slowly. He thinks, ponders, evaluates, and builds the bed completely in his mind many times over, analyzes potential pitfalls and a variety of solutions for each. And that’s before any building starts!

My husband was making the bed and I had painting duty at the end, so the “beginning phase” took about twenty months while the novelty of sleeping on a mattress on the floor wore off for our daughter. (Thankfully she doesn’t like high beds, so the floor was a good backup.)

Then the actual building phase began swiftly–after all my husband had anticipated every potential obstacle that could happen. My painting phase took twice as long as I expected due to relearning the technique and a slow drying time due to cold weather. In the end, just shy of two years later, our daughter’s bed was complete.

When she saw it all set up in her room, she screamed. “It’s just what I wanted. I love it!” We marveled at how awesome it looked and she laid on it to give the bed a hug. Everyone was happy.

Even though we’ve done many home remodel projects together that took far less time, I learned more how to appreciate the differences between my husband and me. We compliment each other. The bed looks great and is incredibly sturdy–completely to the credit of all my husband’s pondering, analyzing, and thinking over every angle. It got completed by the gentle nudging of the go-getter in me and of course my fashionista perspective shined in the indigo denim painting.

We may not be furniture makers and may never make another bed again, but we learned a lot by stretching ourselves.

“No offense Mom, but it will be a Mom-Free Zone while you’re gone,” my daughter announced last week. None taken. I knew what she meant. As I went to a four day writer’s conference, she and my husband had time to themselves … Mom-Free.

No reminders mid-sentence to brush her teeth. No bionic ears to know when she’s eating snacks right before dinner. No supersonic eyes in the back of the head to know when she’s doing something she shouldn’t. Stay up late. Go out to eat. Eat candy. Mom-Free!

They had a blast and I enjoyed my time of learning and growth. But what I really got a kick out of was Sunday night when we all headed out to make a trip to the grocery store my husband said to our daughter, “Grab your coat please.” She sighed the sigh that I’ve heard so many times before as she turned to get her coat.

“She tried that every time we left the house,” he said to me.

I chuckled. It may have been Mom-Free, but it wasn’t Dad-Free.

With the launch of my new website, I’m excited for the new phase and season ahead of me. I always find it interesting that what I once thought was great, soon is outdated, in need of a facelift, and improving upon.

I find the same thing with parenting. I move along a certain path just fine and then my daughter goes through a new phase or I see an area of character development I can teach her to improve upon. Or what means of motivation works for a while, changes as she gets older and has a different focus. Parenting is never static.

My friends with more than one child tell me that once another child comes into the mix, what works with one, doesn’t always work with the next one. I guess it shouldn’t be surprising. As parents we’re constantly moving, growing, and changing gears. But isn’t that part of what makes the adventure?

When my daughter was young, these changes used to throw me off and frustrate me at times. I was such a planner and liked to know what’s up ahead. Over the years I’ve changed. I still like to see what’s on the horizon (if possible), but I’ve become far more relaxed in this journey and embrace each day as it comes enjoying the little things along the way. I’m more eager to try something new when one method isn’t working. I think it’s about letting go and learning along the way.

So whatever 2011 brings — a new website, a new perspective, a life change, or just a new approach with your kids, enjoy every moment. But don’t get too comfortable … things will change again soon enough.

I don’t know about you, but I am rather dependent on my computer. It’s ridiculous how much I depend on it to do so many different things. What ever did we do before computers? We hand-wrote letters, and stuck them in an envelope and actually mailed them. We waited for responses and carried on with our life in the meantime. We did the checkbook by hand and we picked up the phone more frequently when we had a question.

Well, a few weeks ago my computer went into the computer hospital and it felt like I was donating my right arm to science for a few days. I’m sure I probably held my breath slightly while I handed it over. Within a few hours without my computer, I learned a few things.

I learned I really can still write long hand. It may not be as fast as I can type, but I used old fashioned paper and pen to do my writing. But more importantly, I learned I waste more time than I realized on the computer. The first day, I automatically walked back to my office frequently to check email or to research items on eBay or something similarly mindless. The first few hours, I actually found myself wandering through the house at times like I didn’t know what to do. Unbelievable!

That’s when it hit me that I have more “free” time in my day than I thought I did. I just didn’t realize how much time I wasted doing mindless things that didn’t really matter. It wasn’t huge blocks of time, but just little five and ten minute blurbs here and there and in between teaching or grading school work. For a mom, little blurbs of time in a day add up to be many much needed sanity-regaining-moments!

Since I’ve gotten my computer back, I’ve been more mindful of my time and how I spend it … even the blurbs. It’s sort of like gaining an extra hour in your day without daylight savings.

With today’s technology we are so plugged in and as a result it’s easy to not see how time savers become time wasters. So if you need a push to discover your extra free time, just ship your computer or iPhone off to the techno hospital for a few days. You’ll be amazed!

I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions as let’s face it, the success rate of such pledge isn’t promising. I think for me, just by calling a goal a New Year’s Resolution, it loses its probability of success. It gives me the idea that I’m doing it because a date rolled around on a calendar, not because the goal is what’s best for me.

Perhaps that’s my own mental gymnastics, but I think it’s important to assess the reason for doing something. Doing so helps us achieve long term success.

I read in the newspaper recently that Scientists say habits get wired into our brains. It went into a lot of scientific gobbledygook, but it’s true. I have a late evening snack most every night. It usually is light-butter popcorn or a few slices of goat cheese. Since reading the article I’ve  looked at whether I’m even hungry when I have my late evening snack. Most of the time … I’m not. It’s just what I do. I grab my token snack. When my large 24-pack box of popcorn gets low, I buy more. It’s my late evening snack.

So when it comes to parenting, how do we best set a goal?

1. Stop and think about what we do and our responses to situations with our children. Is it what we want to do and say?
2. Realize our autopilot will not bring successful change.
3. Look for situations to practice the new response or action.

By changing things up our brains will probably be discombobulated. That’s okay. It’s just the start of a new hard-wired habit.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.  ~Henry Ford