A close friendship is a treasure. When life gets rough, a true friend is there to give support and encouragement. When we just need to vent, a true friend listens to us ramble. When we have food in our teeth, a true friend lets us know.

Such a close friendship is hard to find. I grew up moving around about every two to three years. I didn’t cultivate deep friendships to lessen the heartache when we moved next. But when I met Sue in my freshman year of college, everything changed. We never lost touch and we continued to grow closer even though physical distance separated us. That was twenty-three years ago.

When I have something weighing heavy on my heart, I can tell Sue and know that she will be praying for me. When she asks how I’m doing, I know she genuinely wants to know the answer … and waits to hear it. When I need a good laugh, being around Sue is a sure-way to get my laughter fill. And when I need to see the bright side of a difficult situation, she offers great truthful insight. Her friendship is priceless to me.

Difficulty abounds in our world today — the struggling economy, uncertainty surrounding so many, marital difficulties, and the threat of job loss. Daily, sadness and fear are flourishing. Too often in the midst of such challenges, we choose isolation instead of friendship.

It reminds me of what I cling to and what my necessary anchors are. I think of what truly matters.

My relationship with God is my ultimate form of peace, security, and guidance. The love and support I receive through my relationship with my husband and daughter blesses me daily. And my friendship with Sue reminds me that a true friendship goes deeper than a situation, miles, or even a season of life. Each looks differently, but all serve a very important purpose.

Take time today to remember what truly matters.

Friendship isn’t a big thing — it’s a million little things.  ~Author Unknown

I’ve started a blog entry a few times this week. Each time, after a few sentences, I’ve hit the “delete” key on the keyboard. Ever feel like you’d wish you could hit the “delete” key on a few things in your day?

A plethora of dental appointments … delete!

Raising my voice rather than taking a moment to breathe first … delete!

The long unmoving line of traffic … delete!

The list of errands I didn’t get to yesterday … delete!

My messy kitchen calling my name … delete!

The important papers I can’t find … delete!

As technology and our society advance, the distractions around us increase. I’ve always been a bit bold in resisting a trend, but when it comes to distractions, I buck fiercely. Life is chaotic enough without added demands and disruptions. The schedule of a parent is busy regardless.

When I fight the urge to hit the “delete” key during my day, I often take time out to think about our next vacation.  I lean back in my chair and close my eyes while I listen to soothing music. I imagine the ocean waves rhythmically splashing to the shoreline. The gentle breeze minimizing the heat from the day while swaying hammocks signal their sanctuary.

In moments, I’m there. I’ve never fallen asleep during these virtual vacations, but when I open my eyes a few minutes later, I feel like I’ve rested. It’s my temporary retreat from the day.

Whether it’s taking a walk, closing your eyes in a chair, or even a hot bubble bath — take a few minutes to retreat from your day or rest on a virtual vacation. It’s not a distraction, but a necessary appointment!

Some days I wonder if my husband and I are the only ones who struggle in a certain area as parents. Or I wonder if our approach on a topic is the best. Or if other parents experience the same ups and downs in this parental journey as we do.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one, isn’t it? Typically when we talk with other adults, we do not first swap stories of our child’s bad days, their attitude woes, or our parenting tactics.

Instead, we come to conclusions of our parenting skills by watching other children and compare them to our own. Junior doesn’t act like that, so we’re doing good. How come our daughter doesn’t sleep through the night yet? Suzie’s daughter did once she hit three-months old. Their son is so well-behaved, what are we doing wrong? Our daughter doesn’t care to go to college … but her friend is planning on graduate school. Where did we mess up?

We all have fallen into the compare trap. But the truth is, we all struggle as parents wondering if our skills and tactics are on the right track or if we could do better. Sometimes we find ourselves swimming in circles baffled in the seas of a difficult situation. We’re not alone.

My daughter recently asked how I can write for parents when I’m not a perfect parent. She was a little fearful of offending me. I wasn’t offended. I’ve never claimed to be a perfect parent and honestly, I don’t strive for flawlessness. It’s unachievable — I’m not God. However, I do strive to be the best parent I can be in every situation.

Sometimes being the best parent is teaching our children that we mess up too and it’s okay to pick ourselves back up and start again. Sometimes being the best parent is allowing our children to watch how we work through our own struggles. Sometimes being the best parent means we apologize for our wrong behavior and ask for forgiveness.

Our children watch what we do, and are less likely to listen to what we say. As they hit adolescence, that fact becomes even clearer. It’s shown me how important my actions are. How I can influence my daughter simply by how I live my life. And I recognize what life lessons I can teach her, by me living out those lessons each day.

No, I’m not a perfect parent. I mess up. I often apologize for raising my voice when I ask my daughter not to do the same. I get grouchy when I’m tired and hungry. I struggle.

I’m also relentless in my desire to teach our daughter the value of authenticity in everything we do. It’s a virtue too often overlooked.