I took my daughter and her friend to the local community indoor pool thinking I could claim a corner of sitting area to write. I found such a place …  for a while. That was until a daycare facility unleashed their kids and my little area became rather cramped and loud.

One little boy found me inviting even though I was engrossed in my make-shift office. My diligent work efforts didn’t sway this eight-year-old. He shook my hand, introduced himself, and made conversation with me. He demonstrated his armpit noises and hip cracking abilities. He told me about his gaming applications on his iPhone (they sure learn young, don’t they?), asked about my daughter and whether she was having fun, told me about his “teenager feet” he’ll have one day and the “teenager shoes” he will get (sneakers) … he went on and on, then was off to swim.

As I thought about the little boy and watched the kids frolic in the pool, I scanned the adults (myself included) in the room. What a contrast. The kids were smiling, laughing, and having a ball. Many of the adults read, or sat appearing like they would rather have a root canal, were consumed by their cell phone, or had an occasional conversation with the person next to them.

I looked for the little eight-year-old boy and watched him jump in the pool and come up out of the water with a huge smile on his face. “Watch me,” he said to the lifeguard, but she was focused on her job. That didn’t sway him. He showed her another trick, and another.

I watched as kids were thrilled with life and the adventures in the community pool while many adults appeared to just be watching the clock or focused on what they had to do.

My mind thought back to what a ten-year-old boy said one time, “I don’t want to have children because then you work all the time.”

Is that what we do? Perhaps at times. I know that if I’m not careful, I could spend my days checking off my to-do list. I’m not sure about your list, but mine typically does not contain “have fun” as an item. Perhaps it should.

Yes, we do have responsibilities we must follow through on, laundry must be done, dishes have to be washed, we need an income to pay bills, but shouldn’t there be more to our days in raising our children?  I believe so.

What would change if all us parents added “have fun” to our list of daily obligations? Who knows, maybe we just might discover a little more life in this journey.

When my daughter was in elementary school, she received an assignment to complete a brainstorming list of topics to write about. She had many blanks spaces and complained that she did not know what to write down. As we drove down the street, she announced she had no any ideas for the opinion category. I laughed. For those who personally know my daughter and me, opinions are not lacking in our household.

I began to remind her of the pediatrician who told me at 4 weeks old, that she was clearly opinionated. God wired her with opinions. She freely vocalized them. But at that moment, she could not think of one. That was until a motorcyclist raced past us.

“Mom! Look at that guy on the motorcycle. He is going so fast and he is not wearing a helmet. And he has flip flops on. That is stupid!” she said.

“I think you just found a topic to write down.” I replied.

Yes, we all have opinions. Some people offer theirs to the world more freely, others keep them quiet. Some opinions carry great weight, others ponder trivial matters. But we all have opinions. Before I became a mother, I had all sorts of opinions on parenting. Do you ever notice we seem to be experts in what we have never experienced? Hmmm

Now that my daughter is entering high school this fall, the reality of my inexperience in raising a high schooler is ever before me. I have few opinions on how to correctly parent at this stage, but find my focus more on the short four years I have left to speak into her life before she ventures off to college.

Some days I find myself teaching my daughter opinions and beliefs about every situation we encounter throughout the day, almost like a person on their last breath wanting to get everything out that they never did earlier. She often reminds me that I have already told her. I smile. Repetition is not always bad … 

I am not trying to be overly dramatic, but I do find such incredible importance in making sure as parents we teach our children adequate tools to live productive and fulfilling lives. We cannot assume they will pick up our beliefs and values by osmosis, or that when they become adults they will somehow magically know what to do.

As parents, our teaching opportunities are actually brief in the grand scheme of the lives of our children. It is just a reminder that what we instill in our children, truly matters.

I don’t live my life with regrets, but there are times I can look back and recognize if I had all the information then that I do now, I would have felt or acted differently. For example, I remember when the Internet was in its infancy and hearing about the “information highway.” I thought, whatever would someone do with that?! Hmmm. I feel differently now — to have information at my fingertips without leaving my home is invaluable.

This looking back applies to parenting situations too — if I knew then what I know now, some situations could have gone smoother. So for grins, I’ve compiled a brief list of what I wish I would have known 13 years ago. See if you can relate …

1. That modeling a clean bedroom would help teach my daughter the importance of cleaning her own bedroom.
2. That counting to 10 has its benefits for me too.
3. That understanding learning styles brings clarity to many situations.
4. That being a catering service to my child wouldn’t be the best choice.
5. That I learn more by listening, than talking.
6. That I would fail at times in my parenting skills, but my daughter is forgiving when I make it right.
7. That being human, not perfect is what matters most.

Knowledge is powerful. May we use the knowledge we gain, not to live in regret but to propel us forward to change the future!