“You just don’t want me to have any fun!” “This isn’t going to help me.” “Why do I have to do this?”

Kids tend to dislike discipline and balk at our parental instruction and guidance. It’s human nature. The value of learning responsibility by cleaning their room is missed, as in their minds it translates to missing out on more free time to play. Consequences aren’t seen as necessary lessons, but punishment for the sake of punishment.

I remember as a child hearing my parents say, “This will hurt me more than it will hurt you,” and thinking I don’t think so! Or “This is for your own good.” Says who?

Children cannot fully understand the reasons for our parenting choices … that is until they become parents. Their minds struggle to grasp the idea that it is for their benefit and growth. Instead they complain of the unfairness.

At times, I see myself viewing life from a child’s perspective when it comes to my relationship with God. He lacks full explanations. He works rather slow at times. His path is sketchy. His ways are a bit quirky. And life doesn’t always feel fair.

I don’t always readily see the value of walking a dimly lit path searching for something I can’t quite put my finger on. I haven’t read yet Donald Miller’s book, Searching for God knows what, but I love the title. We all are on a journey searching for something … but we don’t always know what that is. Maybe God hasn’t lit the path clearly yet, or that we’re just beginning the discovery of what is missing.

When it comes right down to it, I realize that to not see what’s ahead is to understand what is most important. The final destination should not be the focus. What I learn along the way is key. God’s faint path may not provide future clarity, but it develops growth in me when I rely on Him for guidance.

So the next time our children grumble from a perspective so different from ours, sneak a quick look at our own perception of God at work in us.

This is the week for love. Valentine’s Day is characteristically the day for romance, but often stress escorts the day as well. The florists hike their prices into oblivion, restaurants have no openings for those who didn’t make reservations early, and a husband agonizes over his lack of ESP to know what to buy to meet or exceed his wife’s expectation. Consequently, many forgo acknowledging the day as commercialism overshadows the reason to celebrate.

I’m not one to insist my husband pay the 200% inflated price for a dozen roses, he lavish me with extravagant gifts, or expect an elaborate fanfare. But I do like having a day to remember to take time out for nurturing our relationship.

Life is busy. Schedules are full. The demands from children naturally push the luxury of dates into the background. Sometimes … a reminder is necessary.

I love the idea that this week millions of couples will go on dates and take time for each other. But I’m saddened that it is reduced to an annual event. A decade ago, one million children were involved in a divorce each year. Now, half of all children will witness their parent’s marriage break up and one-fourth will witness their parents’ second marriage break up.

Our marriages must be priority.

As much as I hate the commercialism of Valentine’s Day, I love the idea. Love. Romance. Uninterupted time together. Concepts just fading these days.

Rather than refusing to indulge commercialism, make a fuss over your marriage! Plan a day this week to spend time together (without children), talking about anything (except children), to cultivate a relationship that is essential to our children.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

Information overload! Ever been there? Your head feels like a full laundry basket after two-weeks — not one more square inch remains empty. Straggling shirt sleeves overflow the edges. Socks mash to the size of dollar bill. When the crammed basket is tipped over, jiggling and shaking is necessary. Onto the floor plops the heap like a formed jello mold. No dead air.

That’s my brain right now. Ideas, information, creativity, angles, perspectives, instruction, insight, and thoughts are racing through my mind like clothes in a spin cycle. I returned Sunday night from my four-day Writing for the Soul writer’s conference in Colorado Springs, Colorado held at the Broadmoor.

The conference overflowed with invaluable information, amazing speakers, applicable teaching, and editors. At the end of each 14-hour day, my mind whirled with new ideas.

It’s four days later now and I still haven’t digested all the information. I woke up the other morning with my first thought in mid-sentence of how I can tweak things, rearrange, and package my book. Clearly the laundry basket is overflowing!

Parenting is a bit like this for me as well. Just when I think I’ve got it down, the rules change. I rack my brain for a new angle or perspective, or get creative to find unconventional ways to teach our daughter the lesson.

When Hannah was just a toddler, I would try to sit her down and give her the talk of all the whys and why not’s. Of course, at that young age, her attention span waned quickly. Get it out quicker next time! Get to the point! Now that she’s entering the adolescent years, more creativity is needed given that hormones enter the scene to mess up any plan in seconds.

As parents, there are days that we feel like our minds have only dead air, fresh ideas dried up, and the rules spilled over. But somehow, somewhere, God’s gracious perspective enters the scene and the innovative angle appears like the sunny blue sky saying hello after a thunderstorm.

I love that about God’s unsullied perspective. It’s nothing I see. It’s an indefinable slant I struggle to wrap my mind around. Yet it’s just what He purposed all along.

As a writer and parent, I need His perspective. I stumble in my approach, my slant spills out wrong, and my perspective needs a gentle twist.

Now if only God did laundry …