As a parent, I appreciate new beginnings. Do you ever feel like you just need a clean slate, or a fresh perspective to start again?

There are things I look back on and know I should have done differently as a parent. Such as not telling my then two-year old daughter while she was in the middle of a theatrical outburst, “Is that the best you can do? I did better than that when I was a child.” Not good. My intention was to let her know that I wasn’t buying her dramatics as I’d been there and knew what she was doing. Instead, I fueled a challenge.  

So often in parenting, we have to change gears, redirect our course, or start again. What worked for a time, doesn’t work any more. New issues arise. As our children grow, we have to adjust our parenting to fit their maturing minds. Yes, parenting is always moving and changing.

But new beginnings are good! It’s one of the reasons I love the month of January. I love the chance to reassess and evaluate how something can be done differently. Rather than be discouraged of what isn’t working, I get energized coming up with Plan … Z. It gives me fresh perspective, a clean slate, and new information to work from.

New beginning aren’t limited to January, although our minds gravitate to beginning again with a new year. So what in our parenting, do we need to reassess? What method isn’t working and how can we do it differently.

Rather than continue as we have been, let’s take time to see where we need to make changes in our strategies. Who knows, you might even be keyed up starting with a clean slate. It may even provide the push needed to jump start the new year!

Yesterday, I walked into a stranger’s home uninvited. No, I wasn’t doing anything criminal — I was just oblivious.

Let me explain … someone in our small group is in a cast, so we were meeting at their home. I had been to their home briefly once last year, so I didn’t feel the need to get the exact address. I thought to myself, I know where it is.

We found their street and I began silently patting myself on the back for such a great memory. The catering vehicle in the driveway made me think he drove his in-laws vehicle home after helping with a reception earlier. The three of us got out of the car, walked up to the house, and I rang the doorbell holding my covered snack. A smiling woman opened the door.

“Hello.” she said.

“Hi!” I said equally friendly as I walked into the home.

I recognized the layout of the house, but not the woman. The furniture was different, but I thought perhaps they moved things around since I last visited. My husband and daughter, sensing something wasn’t right, stopped short of coming in the door. Not me … I walked straight past the woman and into the entryway figuring she was the attendee of the group we hadn’t met yet.

I looked around, puzzled by not seeing our hosts or their daughters. Her strange and silent look at me caused me to ask where they were.

“Ummm. They aren’t here, but they were last night.” She said.

Now it was my turn for a strange look. That’s odd. Why would they not be home? Who is this woman?

“I think you might have the wrong house.” She kindly said.

Mortification flooded through me.

“What? This isn’t their house?” I asked.

“No, they live next door.”

I must have turned fifty shades of red at that moment. I apologized profusely, embarrassed that I walked so carefree into a stranger’s home. I promptly walked back out, apologized more and followed my family to the house next door.

Today, I’m still mortified. If the tables were turned and some stranger walked into my entryway uninvited, I don’t know that I would be so kind and friendly.

It makes me think of the verse, “Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” (Hebrews 13:2) To be hospitable is to make someone feel comfortable.

We encounter many strangers throughout each day. How do we treat them? Do we take time to make others feel comfortable? Do we shun and criticize others or do our children see our hospitality in action?

With the Thanksgiving holiday around the corner, what can we do to extend a hand to those in need? There are many opportunities to show hospitality to strangers — volunteer to serve dinner at the local Salvation Army or donate food for a Thanksgiving meal for a needy family.

We never know if we are entertaining angels without realizing it, or just being a fantastic role model for our kids.

We all experience challenges now and again. It’s a part of life.

I used to expend much energy trying to avoid challenges because to me it just meant more difficulty. With difficulty, pain undoubtedly followed with misery tagging along. I didn’t want misery … so avoid challenges. It made sense to me.

The interesting thing was as I avoided challenges that came my way, I experienced pain continually, life was difficult and I was very miserable. Avoidance didn’t work.

It took a while, but finally I realized the problem wasn’t in the challenge, but in my response to it. As I shifted my focus and faced challenges as they came, I discovered more of my own character and those areas I needed to improve upon.

I heard the author, Jerry Jenkins, say one time that who we are depends only 5% on what we experience, but 95% on how we respond to it. That really stuck with me. It’s true! All of us encounter trials, strain, stress, and change. However, we each respond differently.

I think as parents, the profound piece in our responses is our children watch and learn by our reactions to difficulty. What kind of example are we to our children?

Rather than be consumed by the 5% we don’t want to experience, let’s focus on the 95%. After all, that is what truly matters!

Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are. –Bernice Johnson Reagon