As I sit here this morning, the soothing music swells in the background while my candles flicker their luster. It brings to my mind the light we flash to our children.

Some days my glow is rather dim. Other days my wick is cut too short and the flame blows out time after time. These are not my shining moments as a mom, but it is from these moments that I learn and grow.

Did we take time to listen or just spout our thoughts? Were we exhausted? Did we take on too many commitments that now have us overwhelmed? Are we weary in need of renewal? Where did it all go wrong?

The difficulty comes in that life doesn’t afford extra time for pondering. It races to the next task or the next problem to solve. But as parents, we need to take time for evaluation in order to restore the luster in our light.

The light from my candle grows dim when it’s at the bottom of the wick and it needs some rejuvenation. To parent on empty ensures I will spew out the attitudes I care not to spurt. With a short wick, I need to scrap away the wax engulfing the wick to allow it room to glow once again. These are the times I take out my calendar and start erasing.

When we take a few moments to look at what is behind our fading shimmer, the flame can rise and sparkle once again.

Solitude. Dark roast coffee. Just a side table for my computer and I. Sound pitiful? Perhaps on the surface, but truth be told … these ingredients make up my weekly getaway to a local bookstore’s coffee shop. And I look forward to it every week!

Life gets chaotic and some days we endure things not so fun — such as my morning dental appointment today. It’s such days where I anxiously await my alone time. My 1 1/2 hours of solitude to read, write, vegetate, or drink lots of dark-roasted coffee.  It doesn’t matter what I do — it’s just my time to be.

For me, I find it helpful to make some of my solitude time away from home. That way, other household demands can’t trail along with me. The laundry hangs out in the hamper. The phone rests in the charger. The dishes remain, wherever they are whether dirty or clean. My husband and daughter do their thing. The dishes never complain and the phone is meticulous about taking messages. The clothes? I’ve never heard them scream. And my family enjoys their own routines during this time too.

For grins, I looked up the word getaway and laughed at one of the words referenced — “absent yourself.” I like that! It’s almost like telling life’s demands, “Hey, I’m sorry but I’m stepping out for a while.”

The word I like most was “retreat.” A retreat sounds like a day spent at the spa or on a tropical beach. My not-quiet-two-hour retreat doesn’t provide a spa or beach, but rejuvenation certainly shows up.

As parents, we often hold out anxiously awaiting our next vacation for rest — that is if we planned one. Such big trips are fantastic, but mini getaways contain their own treasures.

“But I don’t have time to getaway,” I hear some say. Remember the word ‘mini?’ Little escapes here and there. Small bits of time. Brief havens. It’s possible, but we need to get creative.

One friend of mine with two small children took advantage of visiting family by escaping for an hour each day to get a coffee and window shop — alone. The quick daily retreat provided the renewal she needed.

Need a few ideas for your next absent-yourself-event? Take a bath after the children go to bed to melt away the worries of the day. Sneak a book and flashlight under the covers at night — it’s a silly retreat that makes you feel young again. Wake up before your family, to a quiet house. Walk the dog to release stress robbers.

It doesn’t matter where your getaway is, just make sure it includes the opportunity to just be. So where will your next retreat be?

Laughter is contagious. Ever notice when someone is laughing hysterically, you can’t help but join in?

In college, in the midst of a big laughing fit, I instinctively began to wave my hand in front of my face like a fan. I’m not sure why … whether I thought it would give me needed air or what, but back then laughter and waving went hand-in-hand. These oddities made everyone laugh harder, which created further waving from me.

I somehow outgrew my waving instincts, but not my desire to laugh. The sound of my laughter is one hard to ignore — it’s loud and perhaps to some, rather obnoxious. I just figure I’m expelling unwanted stress with each thunderous hoot. 

In the midst of busyness, a challenging situation, or stress, laughter has the ability to change our drab outlook. Unfortunately, the first to disappear in such times, is fun and laughter.

I’ve been known to let my goofy side shine under such stress-filled days. One of my specialties is to put on music and dance in no apparent style — just having fun. After the initial expected embarrassment by my daughter, she joins in while my husband sits on the couch and laughs at his two wacky women. Before long, laughter and fun fill our home and the cares of the day dissipate.

When did we last cut loose, have fun, and laugh? Maybe it’s time to let your goofy side shine!

A laugh is a smile that bursts.  ~Mary H. Waldrip