Independence. It’s something all kids long to exert.

At two, my daughter got into my eyeshadow. She “knew” what to do even though she looked like she had two black eyes. I did what any parent would do — grabbed my camera and took a picture!

At four, she insisted on getting her bike unstuck all by herself. Never mind that she straddled the gutter with her training wheels. I was only allowed to watch as she peddled faster and faster, to no avail, to get the bike moving. I silently smiled.

At eight, she boasted how much older she was than the kindergartners we taught Sunday School to each week. I chuckled to myself when she told the kindergartners, “When I was little …” 

At eleven, middle school began and she didn’t need us to walk her to the bus stop anymore (although we were “allowed” to come if we brought the dog with us). I brought the dog as often as possible.

Now at thirteen, it’s all about going alone to the mall with her friends. As I write this, I’m sitting here at the mall’s food court while my daughter and her friend exert their independence. I allow thirty minute increments of this freedom before they have to check in with me again for the next round. I show my gratitude when they return on time.

As I reminisce, I remember how much I’ve enjoyed every stage of her growth. With each new phase, come new experiences and challenges. 

Things are different now — I’m not allowed to bring a camera to the mall for pictures and I got the please-don’t-embarrass-me-look when I gave her hand an I-love-you-squeeze in church today. (I sometimes forget what it’s like to be thirteen.) That’s okay. Her budding independence is a joy and an absolute kick! Sure, as with every phase, it carries it’s share of challenges. But now I sit and listen as she shares her passions and dreams with me. I beam when she makes a responsible choice. I’m touched when she gives me something she’s written that blesses my heart. I proudly watch her teach the kindergartners each Sunday morning — by herself — while my husband and I stand in the backdrop to offer help when she needs it.

Growth and independence — two beautiful things. As parents, we need to embrace it in our children. If we channel it in the right direction, there will be nothing our children cannot successfully do!

As parents our roles are numerous. One important role is being our child’s ultimate cheerleader.

I recently caught the tail end of a documentary of a famous recording artist. Immediately, the support and encouragement of the mother shined. When others discredited the talent of the young aspiring artist, the mother beamed proudly with firm belief, and forever nudged her child to press on.

As the documentary lingered in my mind, I couldn’t help but evaluate my own abilities to be my daughter’s cheerleader. At times, I succeed. Other times, I miss vital opportunities.

What is an opportunity? It’s a pause or a moment in time where we are given an opening. In being our child’s cheerleader, it’s an opening to spur him or her on to greatness. The adventure comes in not knowing what the final greatness is to be, but looking for glimpses or sparks just waiting to be further ignited.

A cheerleader isn’t reserved for the athletic department. A cheerleading parent finds the beauty in a child’s first piano piece, the vulnerability in a child’s poem, the tender heart of a helpful child, or the strength in a child’s individuality.

Life is full of openings to encourage our children. Rather than see missed opportunities behind us, let’s capture each possibility that skips our way.

“Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great.” — Orison Swett Marden

Today my daughter and I spent the afternoon being creative.We went to a pottery studio in Fruita, Colorado called “Stroke of Genius.” We recently discovered this place and being the artsy crafty types, we had to check it out. We were not disappointed. The owner, Anne, is a gem of a lady — such a delight, and the selection was extensive and unique. We had a fantastic time!

My daughter painted a plate shaped like a slice of pizza, while I tackled a glazing technique on a toothbrush holder. As my daughter painted her crust, Anne handed me a rust-colored bottle of glaze.

“Is this the green color?” I asked.

“Yes. It will be once it’s fired. This doesn’t contain any dyes, so the color you see isn’t what it will be. It’s what is inside that creates the beautiful green color once it’s fired.” Anne replied.

I painted on the rust glaze, but it looked more like a terra-cotta lump rather than a one-of-a-kind iridescent green toothbrush holder. I ignored what it looked like on the outside, and tried to imagine how the chunks I intentionally placed would melt down the sides when fired, to create the beautiful array of colors and hues.

“I thought you were using the green color, Mom?” my daughter said unimpressed by my terra-cotta container.

“I am. She said it’s what is inside that creates the color, so it won’t show up until fired.”

As we painted, glazed, and contemplated how incredible our pottery would look in the end, I couldn’t get out of my mind what Anne said, “It’s what is inside that creates the beautiful color …”

It’s what is inside that matters … an important truth that flows into every part of our lives. We often make sure we present ourselves in the right light, however it isn’t how great we look but what comes from our heart that counts. Life isn’t about our children being perfect performers, but more about whether we are helping them become all that God designed them to be.

As parents, it’s easy for us to look only at today rather than beyond the immediate picture. Just like my toothbrush holder, the colors we instill in our children won’t fully shine until they mature and endure a bit of fire along the way.

Let’s teach our children today what will help them glisten in the future. It’s the end result that matters!