Some days I wonder if my husband and I are the only ones who struggle in a certain area as parents. Or I wonder if our approach on a topic is the best. Or if other parents experience the same ups and downs in this parental journey as we do.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one, isn’t it? Typically when we talk with other adults, we do not first swap stories of our child’s bad days, their attitude woes, or our parenting tactics.

Instead, we come to conclusions of our parenting skills by watching other children and compare them to our own. Junior doesn’t act like that, so we’re doing good. How come our daughter doesn’t sleep through the night yet? Suzie’s daughter did once she hit three-months old. Their son is so well-behaved, what are we doing wrong? Our daughter doesn’t care to go to college … but her friend is planning on graduate school. Where did we mess up?

We all have fallen into the compare trap. But the truth is, we all struggle as parents wondering if our skills and tactics are on the right track or if we could do better. Sometimes we find ourselves swimming in circles baffled in the seas of a difficult situation. We’re not alone.

My daughter recently asked how I can write for parents when I’m not a perfect parent. She was a little fearful of offending me. I wasn’t offended. I’ve never claimed to be a perfect parent and honestly, I don’t strive for flawlessness. It’s unachievable — I’m not God. However, I do strive to be the best parent I can be in every situation.

Sometimes being the best parent is teaching our children that we mess up too and it’s okay to pick ourselves back up and start again. Sometimes being the best parent is allowing our children to watch how we work through our own struggles. Sometimes being the best parent means we apologize for our wrong behavior and ask for forgiveness.

Our children watch what we do, and are less likely to listen to what we say. As they hit adolescence, that fact becomes even clearer. It’s shown me how important my actions are. How I can influence my daughter simply by how I live my life. And I recognize what life lessons I can teach her, by me living out those lessons each day.

No, I’m not a perfect parent. I mess up. I often apologize for raising my voice when I ask my daughter not to do the same. I get grouchy when I’m tired and hungry. I struggle.

I’m also relentless in my desire to teach our daughter the value of authenticity in everything we do. It’s a virtue too often overlooked.