Mom the Encourager. [Cue theme music.] A big red cape effortlessly blows behind. Hands rest on hips. Boots wade through messes. A smile, happy children, and a sunny outlook abound. Picture perfect.

Not always. Ever had one of those days where the cape flaps in your face, your arms flair in the air, your boots have a leak, your face is red from counting to ten so many times (to help yourself), your children have been crying and it’s raining outside? Yep. I think every mom has … and those of us with strong willed children may experience those days more often than others. It’s those sorts of days that the furthest thing from our mind is how we can be encouraging, yet it’s the type of days that demand the most self-control of what comes out of our mouth.

Words … they have such power and can do plenty. Teach. Splinter. Love. Hurt. Strengthen. Demean. Joke. Enhance. Direct. Encourage. With just a couple words, we can change the feel of a conversation, crush someone’s spirit, or make someone’s day.

So what can we do when we have a cape-flapping day? Here are some tips:

1. Recognize when you’re about to short circuit and excuse yourself to regroup for a few minutes. It’s okay to step back from the situation and breathe. It models to our children that we know our limits and act … not react.
2. Leave the heavy sighing and eye rolling for when you are alone and taking your breather. Yes … we can all be guilty of those reactions or is that just me? Breathe and say a quick prayer for wisdom – it’s far more effective.
3. Listen for and address the deeper issue first. Often emotion-filled days are spent on dealing with surface issues rather than the deeper problem going on. Take time to assess the situation, the feelings your child may be struggling with, or undercurrents taking place.

By doing these things, we will help ourselves speak words of encouragement and instruction to our children rather than let loose splinters that just inflict pain and fester. Speak love, support, and affirmation. Words impact.