Karla Kassebaum

Today is Back-to-Reality Day. No more sitting around the table stuffing ourselves. No more gatherings of extended family from out of town for a while. No more all play and no work. Today, reality comes crashing back. The daily routine is back in motion.

Feeling refreshed after a few days off and relaxing, I rationalized whether I should exercise this morning to work off the extra calories ingested the past few days. Then I read my calendar’s statement today:

“I don’t even know how this word came into being: “aerobics.” I guess gym instructors got together and said, ‘If we’re going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can’t call it “jumping up and down.’” — Rita Rudner

That put a smile on my face. My shins are already sore from walking so much Friday at the After Thanksgiving Sales. Maybe it wasn’t jumping up and down, but it was much walking to and from and standing in lines. Doesn’t that count?

Do you ever find that we want to change a word because we don’t like how it sounds? “Control” sounds as if we’re headstrong dictators. So we prefer “Take Charge Individuals.” That has an air of leadership qualities. “Big Spender” sounds frivolous, but “Just Appreciates Quality” makes us sound responsible in our expenditures. “Opinionated” gives off a harsh feeling, but “Firm in Beliefs” sounds grounded.

The bottom line is, we can paint something any way we want, but it doesn’t hide what’s within. We end up only fooling ourselves.

Perhaps I need to go do some jumping up and down, or lift some heavy things until my muscles throb. Not as appealing I must say, but it’s the truth. I know I’ll feel better when I’m done.

There are a couple things that come to mind with Thanksgiving approaching next week … time with family and After-Thanksgiving Day sales. I love to spend time with family and some years it is a time that I get to see family that lives out of town. I’m also one of those millions of shoppers that wake up insanely early to stand out in the cold to be one of the first couple hundred customers.

A few years back, being one of the first to stand in the cold meant gaining a prize. I planned the store priority based off of the prize given for being one of the first customers. My sister and I would split up and “Divide and Conquer” as she referred to it. However lately, store freebies are becoming a rarity and instead the store priority is based off of the best deals. (The bargain shopper in me is a sucker for a great deal!)

I’ve gotten a little smarter over the years. Now Wal-Mart is often my first stop. As a 24-hour store, the waiting happens indoors … not out. If you’ve ever been to Wal-Mart for their After-Thanksgiving Day sale, it’s an experience.

Palettes of products are stacked in the aisles tightly wrapped in cellophane. Shoppers try to peer through the wrapping to see if the palette contains their prize item, while employees stand guard restraining eager shoppers. Last year while waiting, I gently lifted up a corner of the wrapping to make sure I was waiting in front of the right palette.

“Stop picking!” the not-so-happy employee yelled. (“Picking” was serious business I discovered.)

Crowds gather, shopping carts clutter the aisles, and everyone waits as shoppers review their lists and plan their next destination. Then the moment finally arrives. Employees push through the crowd, tear the wrapping, and the coveted products are unveiled.

Chaos begins.

Hands and arms dive in to grab products. Items are thrown to friends and family further back in the crowd like a football. Irritated shoppers, unable to push through the masses, spout their frustration as shopping carts clang together. Shoppers fight for the last item left on the palette. Outdoors, the parking lot scene isn’t much different. Yes, that’s what they call Black Friday in the retail industry. A day their books leave the red zone, and reach the black instead.

By the time the sun rises, I’ve finished my shopping and head home with Christmas presents hidden in the trunk. Apart from getting fantastic deals for Christmas presents, I would not choose to shop on that day. It’s seems to be the exact opposite attitude of what Thanksgiving is all about — giving thanks for the abundance we have.

In all the years of shopping on that early morning, I cannot think of any time I’ve heard thankfulness uttered in all the shouting. Smiles and happiness is sparingly found. What is it about that day that brings out the worst in people?

It’s just stuff. Stuff we think we need, but it often leaves us always wanting more. Jim Carrey’s character in How the Grinch Stole Christmas says it best:

“That’s what it’s always been about! Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! Do you know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me in your garbage. Do you see what I’m saying here? IN YOUR GARBAGE! “I want golf clubs!” “I want diamonds!”

We can so easily get caught up in all the things we think we need, yet we miss the abundance of what we have. Kids exemplify this loud and clear. As parents we can’t help but shed light on their ungratefulness. Yet, aren’t we guilty too?

How many times are we disappointed because we don’t have something we’d really like to have? How many times do we find ourselves needing to upgrade our home furnishings because someone we know just got all new things? Do we buy a larger TV because there is now a bigger one available than what we presently have? Do we think we need a new car because everyone else seems to have a nicer one?

At times, I’m guilty. It is then I feel discontent. It is then I struggle with the unfairness of life. It is then I am dissatisfied and left empty. It’s a black day for me, but for the opposite reason … it’s not pretty.

This Thanksgiving, I hope Black Friday doesn’t overshadow our thoughts and focus away from the reason for celebrating Thanksgiving. We have been given much. But gratefulness isn’t a one day event, but an attitude we should live by.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

As moms, wearing many hats is required (and not as a fashion statement). Some hats are fetching, while others are rather unflattering. So when I came across this saying, it fit: “I don’t know about you, but I think we’d have fewer bad hair days if we weren’t trying to wear so many hats!”

One particular day, my hair was rather disheveled …

After reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee, I put on my Working-Mom Hat to do a little computer work. While in the middle of an instant message, my daughter asked if I could make her French toast. Down went my Working-Mom Hat and on went my Cooking-Mom Hat.

As the first batch was cooking, I quickly put on my Working-Mom Hat and ran back to the computer. Minutes passed. Then suddenly the thought of burning French toast entered my mind. I dropped the Working-Mom Hat and grabbed the Cooking-Mom Hat as I raced into the kitchen. Safe!

We ate breakfast, but the Organizing-Mom Hat snuck on top my head as I began to make a list of the things we needed to do. The Multi-Tasking-Mom Hat plopped itself on top of the Organizing-Mom Hat as I walked around the house with a mouthful of French toast placing necessary items near my purse so I wouldn’t forget them, stopping by the table to gobble another bite, and then over to the counter to get my vitamins.

After breakfast, the Clean-up-the-Kitchen-Mom Hat stayed on the counter as the dishes cluttered the sink. Instead, I flung the Entertaining-Mom Hat on and picked out a movie for my daughter to watch. Back to the Working-Mom Hat I attempted to finish up a task. Within seconds, another hat peaked out ready to be used.

“Mom, the movie isn’t working. The sound is mushy.”

On went my Mom-Can-Fix-Anything Hat as my hair resembled a major case of bed head. I tried to diagnose the problem — old tape — but she was no longer interested in the mushy sounding movie. To her room she went to play on her computer. I just need to finish this one more thing for work and I’m done. As I headed to my office once again, on went the Working-Mom Hat. Nearing completion of the task at hand, the plea for yet another hat came from my daughter’s room.

“Mom, my computer won’t do what I want.” Now the Computer-Repair-Mom Hat flopped on my extremely messy-haired head. Once repaired (the computer that is, not my hair) the Working-Mom Hat barely landed on my heap of hair to finish up. Minutes later, my daughter came into my office.

“Mom, look at what I made you.”

A tad bit frustrated that my 5 minute task was taking 45 minutes due to interruptions, I almost threw the Frustrated-and-Frazzled-Mom Hat on my head, but fortunately stopped in time to gingerly place the Encouraging-and-Listening- Mom Hat on my head.

“What is it honey?”

“It’s a Certificate of Achievement Aware I made for you, Mom.”

“Thank you! What did I do to get this award? Because I made you French toast this morning?”

“No, it’s an award just because you’re my Mom! I love you.”

Moments like those make me grateful when I leave my Frustrated-and-Frazzled- Mom Hat on the shelf. I’ll switch hats. I’ll multi-task. I’ll be interrupted. I’ll have bad hair days. I just need to remember to keep my Encouraging-and-Listening- Mom Hat close by.

Go ahead — let your hair get messy. Wear a few hats (even if they are ugly). But don’t forget the most important one!