Karla Kassebaum

Yesterday morning I sat in a coffee shop to do some work and savor a dark-roasted coffee. It wasn’t long before mothers with young children arrived in packs, pushing tables together and doing their best to maintain crowd control.

Children hopped from table to table to find the best one and the most comfortable seat — even though each table had the same chairs. One little boy insisted the 2-person table he chose was the best, no matter how much his mother tried to persuade him the 4-person table next to them would fit the three of them better. That was until they sat down, the mother took off her coat, and got situated. Then at that very moment, the little boy hopped up and moved to a chair at the 4-person table announcing, “I’m sitting over here!”

I chuckled. I remembered when my daughter was that little. I found myself smiling at the mothers, amused by this little boy, and at the same time touched by the excitement and adventure of the other little ones in the coffee shop.

My quiet haven for working turned into a romping room full of chatter and disgruntled children from time to time, but I didn’t mind. I think God gifted mothers in that way–we can tune out the noise to accomplish some things, but yet at the same time be relentlessly in tune with the noise to know when to pay closer attention. Right?

It was my few moments of not being on Mom Patrol so I was in my little corner of solitude in spite of the commotion. Since these young ones weren’t my responsibility, I tuned out the noise. But not before I was reminded of the camaraderie mothers need.

There is something about walking alongside another woman who’s either in the same season of life, or has just moved into the next. It’s refreshing, hopeful, engaging, and let’s face it … it’s downright enjoyable to actually have an adult conversation!

Most of the moms who arrived, came with a friend. While one mother went to place her order, the other occupied the children. It was simple, yet understood teamwork 

We need other women around us – no matter what season of life we are in. There are also times we need our solitude, even if it’s small increments of time where we can set down our Mom Patrol duty and just be.

So what do you need today? Pick up the phone and call a friend. Or if you need to, retreat to the bathroom if that’s the only solitude available. It’s okay — you’ll know when to tune back in … a two-year-old’s silence is always a good clue.

Tonight, I sat trying to think about what magnificent parenting factoid to blog about, but my mind was just … blank. I got nothing.

Ever had one of those days? For me, it’s usually because of what transpired during the day that my brain becomes mush by the end of the day. Things like, the laundry’s final resting place still remains on the furniture, the to-do list grows longer rather than shorter, dinner didn’t get planned … again, and to top it off the dog gallivants in from the backyard … grimy. Not just a little dirty, but with yuck encrusted fur. The sort of grim that only can be removed from severe soaking and scrubbing.

Then add in our homeschooling day, along with the normal everyday events in the life of a teenager daughter, and you’ve got liveliness that gushes like a room full of two-year-olds. Now don’t get me wrong, I love parenting a teenager.  It’s a kick and then some. But there are days where the effort it takes to even out the amount of hormones flying around the house consumes all my creative juices.

So tonight … my mind is blank.

On days like today, I kick back and relax. The dog crashes in the kennel, the family sleeps soundly, while I barricade myself in my little relaxation oasis. Candles flicker, warm fuzzy blankets surround me, soothing music plays, and I lie back in my comfy chair and just breathe while I sip tea infused with all sorts of relaxation herbs. It’s my little taste of heaven.

As the stresses and demands of my day begin to melt, my shoulders relax, my muscles loosen, my eye lids get heavy, and a few yawns squeak out. Slowly, I refuel.

We know the journey of a parent is a wild adventure. Some days our tendency is to fight it. But I’ve found it’s best to just embrace life as it comes and kick back to relax after the day is done. After all, tomorrow we start again.

I’ve started a blog entry a few times this week. Each time, after a few sentences, I’ve hit the “delete” key on the keyboard. Ever feel like you’d wish you could hit the “delete” key on a few things in your day?

A plethora of dental appointments … delete!

Raising my voice rather than taking a moment to breathe first … delete!

The long unmoving line of traffic … delete!

The list of errands I didn’t get to yesterday … delete!

My messy kitchen calling my name … delete!

The important papers I can’t find … delete!

As technology and our society advance, the distractions around us increase. I’ve always been a bit bold in resisting a trend, but when it comes to distractions, I buck fiercely. Life is chaotic enough without added demands and disruptions. The schedule of a parent is busy regardless.

When I fight the urge to hit the “delete” key during my day, I often take time out to think about our next vacation.  I lean back in my chair and close my eyes while I listen to soothing music. I imagine the ocean waves rhythmically splashing to the shoreline. The gentle breeze minimizing the heat from the day while swaying hammocks signal their sanctuary.

In moments, I’m there. I’ve never fallen asleep during these virtual vacations, but when I open my eyes a few minutes later, I feel like I’ve rested. It’s my temporary retreat from the day.

Whether it’s taking a walk, closing your eyes in a chair, or even a hot bubble bath — take a few minutes to retreat from your day or rest on a virtual vacation. It’s not a distraction, but a necessary appointment!